Identity can be a small thing. I could identify with my home country, my line of work, my monthly salary or my family name. It could be my hometown, the brand of clothes I wear or a degree I achieved. Actually, identity can be a big thing. If that is so, how can the identity be picked intelligently and how can that choice be undermined by mere attention?

What we identify with is not insignificant. The very works of the ego make it that we must protect our identity. If somebody attacks our identity, mocks it, or only puts it at question, that person must be converted, punished or removed.

Say, I strongly identify with my intelligence. Now my friend mocks me for having made a mistake and points out a flaw. The more I’m identified with being intelligent, the more this is going to piss me off. Whenever the identity is under attack we feel we are under attack. Be it our self-image, our favorite football club or our nation.

The stronger the identification with the thing that is under attack, the more such encounters can even become a matter of life and death.

Now, fortunately, our identities are more or less a matter of choice. I can for example build a new identity by reaching a doctors degree and strongly identifying with it. At this point I then am a doctor - this becomes my life’s story.

At the same time I could drop an identity, for example my identity of being a student once I graduate. Suddenly I look back on my study-time as some distant memory of almost a different person. I may no longer sympathize with students I see on the street - they did not achieve yet what I achieved and are way different people.

Now one could argue that studying or holding a doctors degree have nothing to do with identity, that they are merely a requirement on a certain career path. Yes, that is true, but at the same time they can be blown out way beyond their utility. The stronger the identification with the activity, the more one is willing to defend it, the less likely one wants to change it. There is a keen difference between “studying” and “holding a degree” vs. “being a student” or “being a doctor”.

Great thought-leaders of our time have recognized the possibility behind picking such an identity. Tony Robbins for example once mentioned he identifies with being the unstoppable force. Jordan Peterson mentioned that you are the thing that changes. Those are some powerful identities! If the ego only goes on protecting those identities, the outcome of this should be rather useful, in these cases in the area business development and personal development.

Seeing that there is a conscious choice of identity, I found that there is also an unconscious choice of identity, which involves attention.

The workings of this are really rather simple. Let’s say you’re walking down the street and walk past a hundred people. There is always some form of attention people give each other in these daily encounters. What are people looking at when they walk by somebody on the street?

It would be safe to assume that they are, well, just looking at you - this must inherently involve your identity. It’s obvious that there is no strict dependency here. Just because from 100 people walking by, 50 people looked at your shoes, it doesn’t mean you will identify stronger with your shoes / brand of shoes / clothing after.

However, if all you’re life you’re walking past people and they mostly give attention to your face or you’re clothes, looking in the mirror you’re very likely to say: this is me. I am that outer appearance, that I see in the mirror.

Once the identification with the outer appearance is there, one naturally cares more and more about it. One could entirely be consumed by the activity of worrying about once appearance, again as if it was a matter of life and death.

While identifying with the outer appearance on first thought may seem fine, this is extremely superficial. Let’s recall those powerful identities from earlier: the unstoppable force and the thing that changes. The outer appearance is really falling behind in this comparison. For one, everybody is getting older. Do you want your identity to fade with time, since it is attached to you’re outer appearance? Probably not. So you are not you’re outer appearance. You are not your looks. At least you don’t have to be.

Identifying with ones looks, consciously or unconsciously, could cause a whole lot of trouble. Thereby I plead to make this a conscious choice, and pick an identity that makes sense. Thought-leaders who discuss this choice are as mentioned Tony Robbins, Saadhguru, Dr. Jordan Peterson or Robert Betz.

Theories about the Bindi

What I suspect to be a countermeasure against this unconscious choice of identity is the Bindi. It is part of the ingenious Indian culture, and refers to a colorful dot on the forehead. This colorful dot is naturally what people are looking at when they walk by. It has color, it draws attention!

For one, this is already an advantage over identifying with ones beauty or clothes. Both of these things may go away, or need substantial amounts of effort to maintain. A dot on the forehead is much more efficient and less fragile.

Coincidentally, this dot is placed above the sixth chakra. It is said that this chakra is generally opened once one let’s go of the ego (identification). One can only be impressed by the wisdom of a culture which literally makes an effort to draw attention to that which is beyond the ego…