Manifesto: noun. A public declaration of policy and aims, especially one issued before an election by a political party or candidate.
Tinder could get dirty. Tinder could get tedious. I wrote down my original aims when I started using tinder here, before everything falls into chaos later. Much like with other manifestos ;)
TL;DR:
- I must not fall into the trap of seeking exceptional looks, just because that is the kind of competition tinder offers. It really only is femininity that counts.
- Look for the intention and goals behind the tinder profiles
- Don’t get excited about something that is not actually in your life
Now, the important thing to not forget while using tinder is that everybody is beautiful.
Am I just pretentiously reciting some spiritual quote here? No, I mean something very specific.
Essentially, for a man and a woman to come together, it only really takes a man and, well, a woman. This is logically trivial, but there is a trueth to this beyond logic.
For me I experienced this trueth when I was at a Salsa event which was a combination of a learning session and party. This evening was a wild and joyous mix: Strangers danced with each other passionately, while everybody started out with the same, basic skillset. All that really mattered was the amount of fun everybody was having. All the while everybody was still learning the thing they were doing. It was a thrill. It was a blast!
I came home from this evening smelling like the 10+ different women I had danced with, reminiscing about each of their individual beauties. What united all of these different women of different color, age or shape was their femininity, which in that moment I realized is beautiful whatever form it turns out to take. Of course the more feminine and the more masculine-loving the better.
This actually constitutes rule one of my tinder manifesto: Appreciate the femininity behind these tinder profiles. This femininity I’m talking about can only be experienced when spending time with these women in real life and it is not bound to a specific outer appearance, profession, etc.
This rule unfortunately limits the way we can judge based off of the tinder profile, which basically only consists of the following:
- a series of fotos
- a personal note below those pictures
- the name of the city that person lives in and optionally the profession, educational background, etc.
I already mentioned that the more masculine-loving a woman is, the better. This in many ways really increases the fun the two sexes can have with each other. So the thing I’m going to be looking out for in tinder profiles is the purpose behind these profiles, to find out how masculine-loving they are at the moment. Rule two of my tinder manifesto: Look for the goals these woman have. From what I could see so far these could be somewhat summarized into these categories:
- Goal: Actually find somebody to meet, probably have fun with them
- Profiles with personal notes which include a good conversation-opener like “i need help opening my marmalade-glass”. These women know what they want and have no problem playing their part in the game.
- Goal: Actually meet somebody, probably enter that long-term relationship
- Profiles with personal notes which describe their personality and their hobbies at length.
- Profiles with personal notes which demand a long-term relationship while not trying to persuade in any other way.
- Goal: Reject men, feel good about appreciation while not risking anything.
- Only model-like pictures, no personal note
- Personal notes which include a lot of “no-sentences”. “No guys who are XYZ”. “Swipe left if XYZ”.
- Goal unclear:
- Pictures which tell a story about the person. Photos which show genuine smiles, are not too instagram-like or too pretentious by showing all their fancy vacation spots but include no personal note.
Last but not least: It is also important to keep a good distance from tinder. Rule three of my manifesto: Don’t be excited about something that is not actually in your life. Whatever the number of rejections, likes, lame dates etc. that come from tinder is: don’t ponder over it. It is not real as it is not a reality in your life. Don’t take anything that comes from tinder personal, except that which cannot be taken any other way. ;)